its a healthy...

dear son,

thank you...thank you for spreading your legs wide eagle today...but never again...ok! we peeked in on you today and you were beautiful {i can say that as your momma!}. your daddy was amazed at how much you had grown since we saw you last and i was speechless with how much we were able to see. you are perfect...your daddy counted all of your fingers and toes...and would double-check with the tech that "you've got 5 right!?" yep she counted five too...you had 5 of each times 2!

we saw your heart first...seems so fitting since most of all...i have prayed for that heart...both what we see and what it is becoming in Him. it had four chambers and pumped perfectly at 158 bpm. we could have starred at that little gem for a while...and we did...the tech made lots of pictures and measurements to ensure and document that it was working perfectly. you were curled up tight and snugly when we first started playing with you. i told her you should eventually stretch out some as you and i had been having talks about the test today and that we would need you to be a little open with some things! you did...about 25 min. in to the test...she froze a picture and asked what we saw...oh my! we saw clear as day that from that day forward we were growing a son. a boy...a cowboy boot wearin', basketball dribblin', firetruck inheritin', fishing pro, baseball star boy...and your daddy and i just looked at each other wide eyed and broad smiled! it just made sense that you were you and you were ours. and the rest of the test we sat with these huge smiles plastered on our faces!

you put on quite the show for us during our hour see and peek...you had the hiccups, tried to suck your thumb {maybe you'll be a thumb sucker like your momma & aunt chichi}, tried to eat your feet {maybe you are already intrigued by those like your daddy}, kicked the tech's wand and your momma in the process...that was only your 2nd strong kick i have felt that intensely...you must have been getting tired...she did shake you a bit!

you are such a miracle...we loved getting to see you today and we can't wait to meet you in a few months. we are so anxious to teach you so much and learn so much from you. we continue to pray for you...for health, for a strong heart both in beats and for the Lord, for a good mind, for a thirst for the Word...for so many things...and for your daddy's eye lashes {ok...i'm the only one that prays that!} ...its gonna take a little bit for me to begin praying for your wife...your daddy says we need to start now...but i'm just not yet ready for you to get married...you are still tethered to me so i think i'm allowed that selfishness!

we were so thankful that you were cooperative and that we were able to find out...just for that you get a pair of your own cowboy boots! you were a trooper...she poked and prodded {sometimes a little uncomfortably} for almost an hour...and up until the end when she had to turn me on my head to get one last shot...you were so easy going and perfect!!

oh how we love you,
mommy

a son or a daughter

dear baby,

in a couple days we will learn so much about you...a peek inside your world living in me. growing everyday, kicking, sucking, heart thumping, soon head-butting me...carefree days. a busy little one you are. and praying for such a healthy report. those are the words i long to hear the most and are most surely the most anxious for.

we will get to see your face {all distorted in b&w}, hear and see your heartbeat, know the measurements of your head and feet and arms. we will learn if you are growing on "schedule" or a little ahead or a little behind.

and just maybe if you are so inclined you'll let us in on a little secret and you'll give us a peek...will you be our son or will you be our daughter?

will we walk away imagining baseball cleats with muddy soles or too big high heels with pigtails? will we spend the rest of the day thinking about whether you will like pink or whether blue might just be your favorite color? will we soon be assuming that you are bound to love firetrucks like your daddy or will we assume you will be obsessed with baubles like your mommy? will you play pretend in tutus or cowboy boots and chaps? will we leave wondering about your long curls or your chili bowl haircut? will i start praying for your wife or will God's ears hear my requests to grow you a strong, nurturing, and God-fearing husband?

either way...we are most excited to get you here and we know that you will fit just perfectly into our family...and to just be truthful...just so you'll always know...we want both...we want a son and a daughter...we want you to be a girl just as much as we want you to be a boy...but not one of each at the same time of course...we are willing to wait for your siblings...coming one at a time!

so right now...its just your little secret with God...and depending on your level of cooperation will depend on whether that secret stays a secret. if you want a pretty handsome room though you best cooperate...i'm just saying!

loving you boy or girl...miss or mister...son or daughter...
either way...i am so blessed and ecstatic that you are mine!
mommy

loving the unexpected

hubby and i were talking the other day that we have been around pregnant women, we have been amazed by the miracle, we have "understood" the 10 month preggo process...but most surely there is nothing like those thoughts and assumptions when its happening to you.

i expected the nesting phase, the growing of a bump days, the search for the baby gear, the anticipation of the newborn days...but i didn't expect the internal growth...the stretching of my heart right along with stretching in my belly, the change of my thoughts, the consumption of my soul of this little being still not fully created. i am enamored by the process...the parts i didn't expect. completely enamored. and completely in love with this little one and somehow even more with this little one's daddy.

the dreams we have for this child, the prayers we flood God's ears with, the thoughts that constantly ramble through our heads...nothing can prepare you for this. its still a gift i am enjoying, but so baffled to be experiencing.

{ pics taken at 17 wks 3 days...speaking of days...in just a few we will find out little miss or mister...looks like most of you are thinking little miss...we shall see! more anxious to hear "healthy"! than its a __... }

a teacup or a tadpole

a teacup or a tadpole? we don't yet know what the stork will bring!
head on over to the poll on the right--------------->
place your guess and we shall soon see what this little babe will be!

and if you are into the old wives tales...here are the answers to some of those...
chinese gender predictor : boy
this quiz : girl
i prefer tasting sour to sweet : boy
i am carrying high : girl
hubby isn't gaining weight along with me : boy
acne? yes! : girl
hold a necklace over your hand/belly and let it swing : boy

as you can see...lots of guessing and some are quite humorous in their reasoning!!

blessed with this new role

its amazing to feel yourself falling more and more in love with someone i haven't met. i don't know what the babe looks like, how it feels {kinda...that post coming soon!}, its personality...i only know the knowledge that it belongs there and the sound of its beating heart. before our features were formed and our heart gave its first beat...He knew what we would become, He knew what we would look like...what our heart would look like. what a testament to how God must and truly does love us.

"Before you were formed in the body of your mother I had knowledge of you, and before your birth I made you holy; I have given you the work of being a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

before this child was growing in my belly it has been growing in my soul for a very long time...it has been growing in our prayers and even though i don't know so many things about it yet...i know that i will recognize him/her at first sight. i know that i will love its heart unconditionally. and i know that i will continue to pray for its health, its dreams, its love, its desires, ...and those things i know even before we are introduced!

i pray that God will give this child a heart for Him and a thirst for the Word.

view from the top : loosing sight of my feet

i feel so blessed that God answered our prayers, but i feel so much more grateful that He felt it time to bless me with this role.

i hope you all had a blessed mother's day! i was so warmly welcomed into the club! i am so behind on posting...hope to catch up and back post soon!

missing her...

i miss my mom!!!...its been almost 2 weeks since she flew home...so i think its been adequate time and now she should return...usually by now i am back into daily life and my routine without her...but this time has been different...i suppose from now on it will be.

she needs to come back because its been long enough that...
...she made us an entire freezer full of our favorites and all we have left is one dinner's worth of meatballs
...she's been home so long that she's had time to hem my pants and mail them back
...she's had time to find the missing crystals on my chandi from a trip to canton and send those as well
...the coupon she got us for chick-fil-a has come, enjoyed, and gone
...the table she and B redid is now completely cured
...the pictures from her visit are already back from order and in frames
...the strawberries she bought me have all been eaten

miss potter

have you seen it? its based on the real life story of Miss Beatrix Potter...you know the author and illustrator of the precious and timeless story of Mr. Peter Rabbit and his friends. mom and i watched it while she was here...and i have already seen it twice since...it is a most precious movie and most definitely on my top recommends list...and on my wish list to own!! a must see!

15 wks : heard it! and i heart it!

it was a big week...we got to hear the babe's swooshing heartbeat {we saw it at our last appt.} ...further confirming the amazing miracle growing inside me and swelling our hearts. each milestone seems to make it seem all the more real and all the closer too. its hard to believe less than 5 weeks will mark halfway into my pregnancy.

i find it chuckling that some of the reading i do each week on the growth of this little one compares its size to different fruits and veggies...last week a lemon...this week an apple...must be a green spunky apple as the doctor mentioned trying to keep the doppler on a squirming babe! hopefully that squirming will allow me to feel some kicks earlier rather than later...anxiously waiting!